happy new year?

I sure hope this year is the best I have had in a decade. My life has been tumultuous at best but I have many more I could use to describe it (a post for another day)...

I feel like I am finally on track in my life and for the first time in many years, I feel safe. So, why am I having such anxiety? I can't figure it but I suspect it may be hormonal. Since I had the hysterectomy 7 weeks ago, I have been anticipating and watching out for signs that the one ovary I have may have ceased functioning. I expect some symptoms but I hope to alleviate them herbally.

I may not have a choice anyway if I can't get some health coverage soon. I know why so many people in this country have no coverage. I cannot purchase ANY plan because I have a pre-existing condition on the 'list'. The ONLY way to get coverage is to get a job with good benefits (or benefits at all) or be poor enough to get medicaid which would mean divorcing my husband. He gets medicare because he's on SSD and my son will be covered by ARKids (Arkansas' kids program). Me? I don't know yet. I have an appointment to see about medicaid but I doubt I'll qualify. It's only a year and a half before I finish my degree and I can finally get that job with a health care plan. I'm healthy, knock on wood, though my medication is kinda pricey. Things could always be worse. In fact, they always have been - much, much worse.

I feel fortunate right now to be where I am and to have made it through so many tests and trials and spirit breaking challenges I faced down and survived. I made it to the other side! The relief has been coming in waves, washing over me and it's a little overwhelming at times.

I hope to sit back and relax this year and just take it all in. Get acclimated so to speak...Happy New Year!